What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
