FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize