Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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