I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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