my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
