after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
