the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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