Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize