I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
