I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
