I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
