What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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