you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
