i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize