He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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