i barfeds in our rink
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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