I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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