My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
