I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
