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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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