No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
