you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
