I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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