I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He kissed a someone with a penis
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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