Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
