I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
