I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize