My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
