My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
