dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
