How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
