Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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