She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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