Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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