I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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