I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
