Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
