got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
