My friends, they love my intelligence
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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