what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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