And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
