Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
