So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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