Who wears a wallet chain?!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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