Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
