she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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