sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
