Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
