"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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