its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
