i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
