addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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