plz talk dirty to me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
